Last 2 weeks

"But it ain't about how hard you hit, it is about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward, how much can you take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done" - Rocky Balboa

Downswings can be rough, but with my experience i handle them pretty well. It can be really frustrating and sometimes demoralizing, but on the other hand you also have to welcome them. Without variance there would be no luck and poker would only be a game of skill. I think its extremely important to grasp these concepts in order to know how to deal with a downswing.

Ok so a quick recap. The first week I had 2 more losing sessions of $700 combined. With my $800 credit card bill in mind i decided not to play with my remaining bankroll and take the safer approach. Well, that week i played on eng's account and didn't have a profitable session. Since i had a million dollars to work with i figured whats the point of starting from the bottom, i may as well just 4 table 1/2 and see how that goes. It went pretty bad and i was stuck a couple hundred within an hour. Then the next day I decided i was gonna play heads up on FTP and grind that out. Unfortunetly in one of my matches i let the power of tilt get to me and ended up losing $400+ that session. I decided to only watch heads up videos on CR to see what i was doing wrong. Yeah, i know...too little too late but whatever. I drilled hours and hours of these videos into my head and it changed my game in a much better way. Heads up is the most difficult form of poker. Especially online when your being dealt so many hands against the same opponent it really becomes such a mind game. Fortunetly enough i was able to see how the pro's approach their opponents in heads up play and in turn i realized quickly how to reinforce my game.
I decided to take a few days off poker completely and just clear my head. Then that following monday i decided i was going to play with the money i owed for my credit card.
1st session: +$450
2nd session: +$185

So far so good, then the 3rd session comes. Eng decided to tag along since he wasn't going to go to class. Here's how this session went:
We get there and start 4 handed. Eng is to my right. This other kid whose name was Iggy is to his right and a fourth bad player. The bad player started off the session with a raise to 20 and showed 45 o/s. After him showing that i immediately knew this chump was going broke. He only had about $100 behind. So Eng and Iggy got caught up in a hand where Iggy button raised to $12 and Eng re-raised to $40. Iggy called in position and flop comes 9 7 5, 2 spades i think. eng bets 55 and his opponent calls. turn is a 3s. Eng pushes Iggy all in for 140 and he calls with 3 5. The river misses eng since i think he needed a spade. After that Eng reloads 200 more. I'm playing my normal game and slowly chipping up to about 400. Then the following hand comes up. Iggy raises to 15, eng re-raises to 35. i look down and see AA. Immediately i think FUCK. obviously i know eng's not gonna pay me off unless he has KK. the raise ended up being to 130. Eng is sitting there contemplating and goes omg do u hvea AA?? i know you have AA but i can't fold. That's when i knew he had KK but obviously i couldn't show him the aces even though i wanted to. W/e he calls and i double up.
By this point the table has already filled up. I have player notes on most of these guys. One guy i had mental notes that he folds to a 2nd barrell bet. I haven't been getting any hands and felt like i was missing out on alot of action. The following hand comes up. There's a live straddle and about 6 limp. i look down at KQ off and make it 30 to go. folds around to this one indian guy who insta calls. flop comes low with 9 high. at this point i bet out 55. He calls relatively quickly so i figure i'll evaluate on the turn, not necessarily sure i want to shut down. Turn is a great card and pairs up the 9. Now i figure i can get him off a hand like 77. i bet 125 and he instantly goes all in for like 250 total. Obviously i can't call. Now i'm down to like 550ish. a few hands later there's another straddle and i'm in the BB with QQ. i figure i'm gonna make the same raise preflop as i did last time. i make it 30 to go and i get 1 caller who leaves himself with 70 in chips. flop comes K high with 2 hearts, i put him in and he calls with K4. OOOK. there goes another hundo. The next hand that comes up just really makes no sense to me. Iggy raises to 20 and i call with 66 as does another player behind me. Flop comes A J 8 with 2 clubs. Iggy checks so i figure i'll bet 40 and try to take it down. The player behind me folds and Iggy calls which makes me kind of confused. i'm planning on shutting down depending on what comes next. Turn is a Kc. He checks to me and i check as well. River is a 9. He insta checks and i figure i can make a value bet bluff. i bet $80 and he goes make it $200. Obivoulsy i can't call and he shows me QQ. Ok first of all this just shows the type of player that he is. He can't even give me respect for an A on the flop. Just a complete call station. If he was that sure he had the best hand then why even raise? But ofcourse these are the type of players that you need hands against. So after that eng had already busted out and i figured i would just play till the end of the half. After that hand and a combination of not hitting a few flops i reloaded $100 more. Then the following hand came up. There's a straddle and it goes like 6 way. i'm in the SB with 8Td and decide to see the flop. Flop comes 9 7 2. i check and a player in late position bets $45. i pop it up to $145 and he goes how much do u have left? i show him about $120. he decides to go all in and has me covered in which case i'm committed to calling. i miss my 11 outs, he shows Q9 and takes down the pot.
Pretty damn frustrating playing against players who can't even fold a Q kicker to a raise.

I ended up losing $400 that session and since i spotted Eng, he lost $400 of my money too. The next day i had to pay my mom the $800 for the credit card bill and that left me with no bankroll. Even though i went bust i'm still confident in my game. I know i can definitely win consistantly over the long run, just gotta weather the storm for now. Looks like its back to driving K'nish's truck.