Results for April

So here's how this month went...
(sorry for the layout, it won't let me make enough space for each column..date, results, hours, location)

• 4/1 +$250 (5/5) 3 hrs Private nyc apt game
• 4/3 -$600 4 hrs Bloomfield
• 4/4 -$50 4 hrs Bloomfield
• 4/5 -$500 3 hrs Bloomfield
• 4/7 +$0 (even) 3.5 hrs Bloomfield
• 4/8 +$200 4 hrs Bloomfield
• 4/9 -$200 5 hrs Bloomfield
• 4/11 +$30 6 hrs Borgata
• 4/11 -$15 5 hrs Borgata
• 4/14 +$660 2.5 hrs Bloomfield
• 4/16 -$800 3.5 hrs Bloomfield
• 4/17 +$465 3.5 hrs Bloomfield
• 4/20 +$280 4 hrs T-stone
• 4/22 -$440 7 hrs T-stone
• 4/24 +$220 4 hrs T-stone
• 4/25 +$465 7 hrs Borgata

So overall this month has been alot of break-even poker. This was definitely by far my most frustrating month too so there is a correlation between my anxiety and the way this month went. Last night me and eng went to AC. I owed my mom $450 for my credit card bill which she said she made the minimum payment for and as a result I would be charged a high interest charge by the credit card company so there was a good amount of pressure for me to come up with that money. Fortunetly, I was able to win $465 to clear that debt. On the other hand, now i have no bankroll so i'm not sure how i will come up with money to play.

This month has shown me how hard it really is to not focus on results and just put in hours, especially in the beginning of the month. Towards the middle, I ended up having $400 left to work with, $300 of which was eng's so i decided i'd make a trip up to T-stone and play $100 max. It was a tiresome week of traveling since i drove +800 miles and ended up +$60 from poker but spent over $100 on gas.

On the bright side I've been gradually putting in more hours each month. This month I put in roughly 70 hours. I think i should make it a goal for next month to have 100 hour months, and then eventually i'm hoping this lifestyle will become more and more routine. Ideally, I want to have a normal schedule and wake up at normal hours like before noon, get in the poker room, and put in 6-8 hrs. Since there's no casinos around here the only way to accomplish this would be to make a move to AC or Vegas.

So i guess we'll see what happens in the days to come.

W

+$465

Tonight I borrowed $600 more from Leuis to play at Bloomfield. I paid him back already from last week's debt but given that I went broke last night, I had no other choice. There was definitely added pressure since if I were to lose then i'd have to owe $900 in debt, 3 to eng and 6 to leuis.

Thank god things went my way tonight. Actually at first I was stuck $300 pretty quickly. The table was pretty crazy again just like last night. Maybe even more aggressive. Every hand was 1-2-5 and there were atleast 3 1k stacks at the table so it was definitely a nice deep stacked cash game....if you're playing bankrolled. I on the other hand had just reloaded my last $300 after just simply not being able to hit flops and not connecting.

I reloaded and a few hands later I picked up a couple of pots and was back up to $500. Then the following hand comes up.
There's a live straddle and everyone calls, we're playing 6 handed.
I have 99 in the sb and make it $30 to go.
Almost everyone is in the hand and flop is 9 9 4, 2 diamonds LOL. I check and a guy bets $40. 1 caller, i smooth call i think 1 more guy calls and this other guy re-raises to $200 total. Folds back around to me and i just smooth call again at this point to try to hopefully get someone with a flush draw to call. Everyone else folds and i have $220 left. Turn is a blank and i check.
The guy asks me how much i have left and i count out my stack. He says all-in and i insta call. He had a flush draw and was drawing dead. Scooped that nice ~$1100 pot.


Really needed that hand. I really don't know what i would've done if I went broke tonight and had to owe $900 to eng and leuis. Wouldn't have been pretty.
Get to live another day, this is becoming way too frequent but that's what happens when you play under bankrolled especially for a game like Bloomfield. I'd say i need 1500-2k min and i'm going there with 2-3 buy ins. It's a recipe for disaster but at the same time I really have no choice. There's no smaller game that's around except AC and that's way too far.

Well, until next time....Goodnight

Bust

-$800

Went busto tonight at Bloomfield. I'll give hand summaries to how it happened.

First major pot that I lost was after I was moved to the main game. Stacks were pretty big and there was a live straddle almost every hand with the occasional $10 re-straddle.
UTG makes it $15 to go and 6 or 7 people call. I have K7d in the sb so i call as well. Flop comes QJ6, with 2 diamonds.
I check, utg bets 15, 3 callers and i re-raise to $75. UTG calls and everyone else folds.
Turn is a black Ten giving me some extra outs for an open ended straight. I moved in for my remaining $80 but unfortunetly that Ten also made my opponents straight since he had 89d.
River was a blank and he scooped that pot.

After this i reloaded $300 more and was in for $600. The game had taken a turn and now almost every hand was 1-2-5. I picked up some chips the next hand and was up to $450. The deck hits me pretty cold and i can't pick up 2 cards to connect a flop with to save my life.
After missed flops after missed flops i pick up 99 in EP. i make it $15 and it goes 6 way.
Flop is 8d 4d 2, pretty good flop for me. checks around to me i bet $40, which was way too little. I should've made a close to 3/4 pot size bet. i get 2 callers and the turn is the 3d putting 3 diamonds for a possible flush. 1 guy checks, i check to the other one that's left in the pot and he checks as well. River comes a 5 so now the board is 8 4 2 3 5, checks to me i check and another guy checks. Sb shows 67 for a straight.

After that hand i dwindled down to $300 and couldn't pick up anything. Finally, towards the end the following hand comes up.

There's a live straddle and everyone limps, game is 6 handed at this point. The straddler makes it $30 to go, $25 more. Everyone calls so i call as well with J6d. I know, pretty loose but i was getting desperate and there was good action.
Flop comes 6 3 2, 2 hearts. the preflop raiser makes it $100. One guy calls all in for less, i think he had around 50. I pushed for $215 total, thinking maybe my 6 is good and that he has 2 overs. He called and showed A6.
Probably didn't have to push and could've waited for a better spot = /

After that i had $200 left and got up to take a breather. For some reason I bought back in for $200 more, hoping I could turn it around. I should've known better and just called it a night.
My next hand i have Q8c and I limp utg. cutoff makes it $20 and sb calls so i call. Flop comes Q J x, sb bets $50. I decided to move in for $180 total, $130 more and he calls with KK.
I gotta admit, he disguised it pretty damn well.
I guess it was tilt that got the better of me but it was a pretty loose and wild game as well. People were winning pots with AQ high on the river for $300+ pots.

So it looks like i'm back to the drawing board. Pretty damn frustrating and I'm even more upset that i lost $300 of which was eng's. I had a nice $660 win 2 nights ago but tonight got the worse of me.
Sigh, i guess that's how it goes.

Last 3 weeks

The last 3 weeks felt like eternity. There's so much that happened so i'm going to try my best to summarize. My results for this month were:

3/5 +140 Borgata
3/6 +80 Bloomfield
3/8 +455 Bloomfield

3/12 +525 Bloomfield

3/13 +500 Borgata
3/14 +190 Bloomfield
3/17 -212 Bloomfield
3/18 +1100 Borgata
3/20 +450 Club 52
3/24 +120 Club 52
3/25 +165 Bloomfield
3/25 -570 (Start of downswing) Bloomfield
3/26 -305 Bloomfield
4/1 +250 Private NYC apt. (5/5 game)
4/3 -600 Bloomfield


I haven't done the math yet but i have $691 left. I also paid off $1200 to my mom for expenses for March so that took a huge chunk. This month was pretty rough for me emotionally as well. Not in the beginning but towards the end I kinda started to lose it. I need to find a productive way to let out built-up steam. I'm not really sure what happened without going into crazy theories and endless hypothetical situations but towards the end of the month I played 2 bad sessions in Bloomfield.
I don't count them bad because I lost, it's the way that it happened. A lot of things didn't go my way but the part that gets to me is that i let it get ahold of me and it crumbled my composure at the table. I felt completely transparent. Towards the end it was just pathetic, my last hand i get bluffed for less than $80 pot by a pair of 4's on A J T 4 3 board, 3 clubs. Had J8.

After that i knew i had to get poker out of my head atleast for the weekend. I ended up going to Ithaca for a few days to chill with Alex. We went sake bombing with her OT's on Friday night and just relaxed saturday and sunday. There couldn't have been any better timing for that to happen.

Another big issue that was heavy on my mind especially towards the end of the month was moving out. I obviously had alot of time to weigh my options and see what i could research on the internet. At the time i had about $1900 so realistically finding a place is very possible. Especially since my dad was telling me every day for multiple days to specifically move out and find a place. One day he said he'd even cover the first month's rent and deposit.

Apparently it turned out all of this was just talk because my mom must have changed his mind. She prefers me to stay home for a few reasons, 1. saving money, 2. safety, 3. keeping an eye on me.
Whatever, it turned out that i hit a downswing and can't afford a place anyway.

So in conclusion,
Grinding out poker is really hard. I think as long as I give everything I've got in my body to this, it will pay off in the future. Unfortunetly for now, i don't have any guidance (mentor wise) so learning is mostly going to be made from trial and error.....however long it takes i guess.
I'm pretty excited to see what will happen a year from now. Even a few months could bring anything. I guess i'll have to keep breathing to find out.